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Deeper Than Skin

I have imperfect skin. My hair is too thin. I have a 37 degree curvature in my lumbar spine and I will never feel comfortable in a bathing suit. Oh and my upper lip is super wrinkly from too many tea burns. But this is only my surface.

It gets messier the deeper you go.

All too often, we stop sharing about our imperfections at the surface. Even this is hard to do beyond our closest friends. But what if we went deep? What if we were willing to expose our internal flaws with the same brashness that we're starting to do with our body image?

In our society, especially for girls and women, it feels expected to appear “together”. Yeah, we give grace in the school line up for wearing jogging pants and covering bed-head with a pompom hat, but we also do something else. We smile and we say, “I’m good” when asked, “How are you doing?”

We can hide the internal bed-head really easily.

But should we?

This is a difficult time of the year for me. And I’m not the only one in this boat. I don’t have a list of traumatizing events to justify my mood and for that I am thankful. But when asked how I’m doing, I cringe with guilt and respond, “I’m great, blessed, loving life.”- even on those days when I’m sick, tired and counting down the minutes to when I can curl back into bed with a book and some more tea to burn my lip.

Here is my admission: even within my visibly kept-together life, inconsequential things set me off. And by set me off, I mean heat rising, through a constricted chest, only contained from spilling into the world by stinging eyes that refuse to gloom. And for whatever reason, this doesn’t happen (as often) from May to October. Is it Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Maybe. I’ve tried the lights, and vitamin D. And it helps (so I should probably try them some more). But it is a part of the imperfect me beyond my skin.

Just putting it out there, feels kinda good. I can be nastilicious this time of the year, and that is one of my deep internal flaws! I’m sorry, and pray often that I could control my mood swings in the winter. But I am imperfect outside and inside. And here is the truth: we are all. And those deep imperfections need to be shared and loved on just as much as the muffin tops and scars.

So here is my challenge:

What if we went beyond posting a make-up free, frump-tastic smiling photo of ourselves, to sharing some of the imperfections hidden deep under those layers? You don’t need to use social media or a blog post like me, but maybe think of one person you trust that you could go deep with. If you have a more lighthearted internal flaw, feel free to share it below.

I’ll start: I have an irrational sense of equality with household chores and a dishwasher that needs to be emptied. ARGH! I'm sorry God. Please help me serve without an expected and equal response. And....ahhhhhh. Feels better already. I will now go empty the dishwasher, still grumbling, but with a lighter heart.

Your turn!

(This post is part of the Five Minute Friday Blog Link-up. Follow the link for some more great posts on the prompt: DEEP.)

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